It’s cheaper to stay dumb and racist.

I’ve swallowed this hard truth after watching the first of several presidential debates last night.

I can’t say it’s surprising since we do have a white supremacist Commander-in-Chief currently occupying the highest office in the land.

He’s the king of deflecting and honestly, he represents a large population of folks who skate-by in life by pathological lying and manipulating any and everyone to reach their goals.

As a country composed of more than three hundred and twenty seven million human beings, the vast majority has silently agreed that it’s cheaper and easier to just let racism ride as opposed to doing the grimey work of dismantling harmful systems to make this a more equitable society for all.

In related news,

I won’t lie, since I realized COVID-19 can’t be transmitted through food, I’ve grown tired of cooking and I’ve relied heavily on food delivery apps like Seamless, DoorDash and UberEats. The service fees aren’t cheap, but I find it comforting to support some of my favorite restaurants during this global pandemic and of course I enjoy eating delicious meals without the prep and cleanup.

UberEats is typically my go-to and I’ve largely supported this app because after the untimely death of George Floyd, UberEats vowed to waive delivery fees for Black owned restaurants and to promote these establishments for the rest of 2020. As a Black person, I was mildly impressed and started funneling my Black dollars into local Black restaurants I had no idea existed. It was such a joy for me to try new foods and drinks, most of which were absolutely delicious, and more importantly it made me happy to give my money to small restaurants I knew were probably suffering due to the global pandemic.

So I ate.

And then I ate some more.

Smoothies. Lentil patties. Brisket. Poof poof balls. Vegan breakfast sandwiches. Cranberry oatmeal cookies.

All of it FANTASTIC.

And then one day in August, I opened my UberEats app for my usual scroll of Black owned restaurants and to my surprise, I didn’t see the Black Owned restaurants carousel anymore. I couldn’t find the list of Black owned restaurants that were open and operating; I just saw McDonald’s chicken nuggets on sale, 2-for-1.

I was immediately turned off and was sure it was a mistake. Surely I needed to update my iPhone or reboot my device because UberEats CLEARLY stated they would be highlighting Black Owned businesses and waiving delivery fees for said establishments for the rest of 2020. I figured there had to have been some sort of mistake, a glitch in the my algorithm. But even as I rebooted my iPhone and searched the App Store for updates, the truth remained: UberEats had grown tired of uplifting Black owned businesses and had moved on.

I took to Twitter with a single tweet that read, “the fact that @UberEats no longer highlights Black owned restaurants in my neighborhood *pretends to be shocked*” and added a well-known GIF of a Black girl pretending to be shocked. 

I received no reply tweet from UberEats but over the next couple of days, to my delight, I noticed the Black owned restaurants carousel was back on the app. “Yay!” I exclaimed! My tweet had made all the difference, I narcissistically assumed.

But then last week I noticed yet again that the Black owned restaurants carousel and filter had been removed from the UberEats platform and it really got me thinking:

  • Were non-Black restaurant owners upset that they weren’t featured on the UberEats homepage?
  • Were Black owned restaurants profits through the roof, thus causing UberEats to cease promotion?
  • Was this an oversight? Had UberEats grown tired of amplifying Black establishments?

Regardless, this is an example of that performative allyship bullshit folks in the Black community talk about.

A huge part of being anti-racist means keeping promises made to uplift and support Black business and Black people long after #BLM stops trending on social media.

Breaking promises once the dust has settled proves that you were never “about that life” from the jump. You were simply clout chasing.

In a country where the 45th president can’t even denounce white supremacy on a national debate stage, is it even surprising that a well-known brand and largely successful company like UberEats reverted back to their old ways? 

Hardly anything surprises me these days. 

We’ve got healing, learning and unlearning to do as a nation.

Buckle up and get to work, America, and you too, UberEats. I don’t plan on using the app until I get answers.

(P.S. A great starting point is by dethroning a WHITE SUPREMACIST president.)

HOW TO NOT BE RACIST:

It’s difficult for me to write on this topic because Blackness and Black culture are two things I’m very passionate about, and hearing about the killing of George Floyd, yet another unarmed Black man, was devastating. I couldn’t watch the video because I’ve seen more than my fair share of gruesome police killings, and I know they negatively impact my mental health and the mental health of other Black or brown folks.

I love love love love love my Blackness, and I would never in a million years choose to be anything other than what I am. I’m lucky enough to have three African American grandparents still alive and well today, and they’ve poured Black history and pride into me.  They take every opportunity to remind me of their experiences with covert racism (racial profiling, eurocentric curriculum in schools, hiring discrimination, etc) and overt racism (lynchings, KKK, blackface, etc) over their lifetimes, and let me tell you something that I recently found interesting.

My grandpa, an 85 year Black man, told me the other day that he experienced more racism in New York during the 1950s, 60s, 70s and 80s, than he ever did in South Carolina. That spoke volumes to me for several reasons, but mainly because New York has a reputation for being a progressive and “free” state. It’s scary to imagine a person experiencing more racism in the North than in the South. That’s some food for thought.

My grandparents and my parents taught me to love everything about Blackness because white supremacy tries so hard to make us hate ourselves. As a result I love my hair as it naturally grows from my scalp, I love my speech and my slang, my attitude, my body, my melanin and my resourcefulness. Just because I love myself doesn’t mean I hate or have an issue with those who are not Black.

When people say Black Lives Matter, it does not mean Asian, Latino/Latinx, Native or Indigenious folks or whoever do not matter. It means Black lives, people who happened to be born Black, deserve to be treated with same respect and dignity as Asians, Latinx folks and others are treated in this shithole country and the world at large. We say BLM because of the rate in which African Americans are disproportionately killed at the hands of police officers, the very people who are paid to protect and serve ALL citizens. It’s unjust and we’re changing things.

All lives can’t matter until Black Lives Matter.

 I hesitated in sharing my opinion on this issue in a professional or public setting because for one, I’ve read about how Black professionals who chose to speak up in support of BLM or denounce white supremacy or police brutality are susceptible professional backlash, and that frightens me. Imagine losing your job because you explained the meaning of Black Lives Matter at work, and consequently lost your source of income during a global pandemic.

All these career speakers like Brenè Brown or whomever talk about “Leaning in” and “Bringing your authentic self to work”. Who are they pandering to if Black people, particularly Black women, are facing backlash for speaking out against issues that have plagued Black people for centuries? 

Enough is enough.

We’re in the midst of a revolution, a worldwide revolution. I’m not sure if you all have been watching the news (by the way where are you getting your news from? Are they diverse voices?), but this shift is ricocheting across the planet and it is being televised.

And even though it’s not on me to educate white people, I’ve decided to provide a handful of strategies white and non Black people can utilize during this movement.

These are BASIC ways on how to not be racist, and who knows, maybe one day you’ll upgrade yourself from “not racist” to “ally”.

HOW TO NOT BE RACIST: a guide

> Look at your social circles and families. Look at your social media feeds and timelines. How many Black people do you know in real life or follow on social media? Why do you or don’t you have Black friends or follow Black people on social media? Sit with that. I’m sure you love Lizzo like the rest of us sane Lizzbians do, but that’s not enough. Make an effort to interact with more Black people. Research Black history.

> Examine your own biases against Black people and examine your privilege. Are their longstanding preconceived notions or ideologies you’ve held about Black bodies or Black culture? (i.e. All Black people are athletic. Black men are dangerous and thugs. Black people steal. Black people are incompetent and can’t succeed in life because they’re lazy. Black people are all ugly unless they’re Meghan Markle light-skinned with bone-straight hair). Reflect on how those unconscious beliefs help or hurt Black people you come in contact with.

> Do you support Black Businesses ? Why or why not? If you don’t, now is the time to start.

> Are you still supporting political leaders who are openly or perhaps closeted racists against Black people? Who gets you vote, your dollars and your support? Are you willing and ready to break ties with known racists? That matters.

> When you see or hear racist jokes or remarks about Black people, what is your reaction? Do you ignore and keep it pushing or do you correct and inform the person? If you tolerate racist speech or racist behaviors, you’re complicit to white supremacy and the oppression of Black people. Your silence means you’re complicit. Work up the courage to use your privilege for good by standing up to that bigot who’s spewing hate. You have a better chance of getting to them because you non-Black or white. Use this to your advantage.

Do you still eat at Chick-fil-A, a popular fast food chain that actually has a CEO, Dan Cathy, who donates heavily to 45’s campaign? If the answer is yes, eww.

While we’re on the subject of large corporations that support Cheeto satan, here’s a super short list of well-known brands that contribute millions, if not billions to Tulsa’s favorite incompetent third-grader:


> Coors Beer
> Taco Bell
> Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs
> Wendy’s
> Pizza Hut
> Landry’s
> SoulCycle
> Equinox
> Planet Fitness
> Chi Haircare
> New Balance
> Revlon

> Do you listen to The Read podcast? If not, go back to episode 1 and binge-listen to every single episode.

Additional resources:

  • When They See Us
  • 13th
  • White Fragility
  • Roland Martin Unfiltered on Youtube gives the Black perspective on news and current events. Subscribe and watch.
  • The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander — great text that outlines how systemic racism was designed to hold Black people back economically, financially, intellectually, etc.

Questions or concerns? Disagree with this content?

Leave a comment below or catch me on those Twitter streets:

@QuincyAbrams

Kanye West Urges Us to Walk with Jesus (…see what I did there?)

Family Business – (College Dropout – 2004)

This is one of the most difficult pieces I’ve ever written, but it comes as no surprise that Kanye West is at the center of my conflicting ideologies, thanks to his ninth studio album, JESUS IS KING.

As a nerdy flutist in high school, Kanye West introduced my ears to what some may refer to as “preppy rap”. Kanye didn’t rap about living in poverty, slanging crack in the ‘hood, or participating in gang activities. His arrogance came from his popped collar and his unique ear for taking a classic old-school track or two and somehow making it unlike anything I’ve ever heard, and something I wanted to listen to over and over. Lyrically, I could relate to some of his rhymes and I quickly added Kanye to my Top 5 Favorite Rappers List, a list I periodically revisit from time-to-time and something I hold close to my heart. Everyone’s list varies depending on age and geographic location. Kanye’s BEEN off his rocker, but we – the (collective Black) public – weren’t ready to accept it.

Can’t Tell Me Nothing – (Graduation – 2007)

Case in point:

  • Exhibit A: In 2005 after Hurricane Katrina, Kanye West got on television with Mike Myers and blatantly stated, “George Bush doesn’t care about Black people.” (Receipts/ Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIUzLpO1kxI)

Mind you, Black people BEEN knew Kanye stated a fact, but it came as a shock nonetheless, and on a personal level, my admiration for Kanye grew because I felt like he valued Black lives.

  • Exhibit B: At the 2009 VMAs, Taylor Swift won for Video of the Year while Beyoncé, her Single Ladies video, and the Beehive watched on in complete shock and perplexity. Kanye West interrupted Taylor’s acceptance speech on stage, stating, “Yo Taylor, Imma let you finish but Beyoncé had the greatest music video of all time.” And then handed Tay-tay the mic back and gave the audience his infamous *Kanye shrug*. (Receipts/ Source:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1z8gCZ7zpsQ)

As an honorary member of the Beehive, I felt Beyoncé was snubbed (yet again) but back in 2009, I was actually a huge Taylor Swift fan as well. Her song, You Belong With Me, was in heavy rotation, along with several of her other Country-infused tracks. But, for the sake of the VMAs (Video Music Awards), Single Ladies was more creative, hands-down, and it involved complicated choreography that fans around the world mimicked and shared across the internet. Single Ladies should’ve won the award and Kanye knew this.

Exhibit C: In late 2013, Kanye appeared on the ‘Sway in the Morning’ radio show, alongside the well-known host, Sway Calloway. In short, Kanye expressed his frustrations with the lack of support he’d been receiving from those in the entertainment and fashion industries. Sway, (bless him) wanted to better understand Kanye’s predicament and suggested Kanye ‘empower himself’, and start his own thing without the help from uninterested folks in those industries. Kanye quickly became defensive and shouted, “HOW SWAY?! YOU AIN’T GOT THE ANSWERS MAN!” (Receipts/ Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXMRw0ZmI-A)

Lack of professionalism is an understatement, but mentally unstable sounds like a better fit. In this interview, Kanye also compares himself to ‘Andy Warhol, Shakespeare, Walt Disney, Nike, Google’, which is a bit of a stretch if we’re being honest. And even if Kanye goes down in the history books as Shakespeare-esque or Walt Disney-like, he’s got a way to go professionally before we can have that conversation.

Wake Up Mr. West! (Late Registration – 2005)

Kanye paved the way for Drake and there’s no denying that. Hell, I’m sure Drake would agree Kanye introduced us to a new sub-genre of rap. Regardless, Kanye’s irrational behavior beyond the preceding examples hasn’t stopped. In present day, Kanye fans watch their fave proudly sport a MAGA hat and spew reckless, erroneous rhetoric in support of y’all’s president. I truly hate to see it. It’s also interesting and important to note how his wife, Kim, has taken an interest in law and reforming the criminal justice system. She’s used her…err, fame, to release a handful of innocent Black/brown people from prison and it’s cute. I have no qualms with that, but I do find it interesting that she’s taken an interest in social justice and activism while her husband seems to be promoting the opposite. That’s none of my business, though.

I’ve listened to Kanye’s latest album, Jesus is King, a handful of times and the most I can say is I find it more enjoyable than his previous 2, perhaps 3, albums to date. If you’re into gospel and find it inspiring like I do, I’d suggest taking a listen. The first track, Every Hour, encompasses the African American gospel choir experience I know all too well, and it took me back to my childhood.

After writing this, I’ve decided to un-cancel Kanye. He hasn’t been accused of heinous crimes like raping underage girls for three decades, and he hasn’t been caught up in money scandals so he’s really just a misguided musical genius and wannabe televangelist. Using religion to stay relevant in the entertainment industry is something Kanye could be doing right in front our salads. On the other hand, perhaps Kanye has really found Jesus or religion, like a lot of other celebrities have (i.e. Justin Bieber, Mase, MC Hammer), and now he wants to sell us his new wave of sanctified bars infused with gospel attributes. Who knows; maybe ChancetheRapper inspired him. On a religious tip, I have the choice to support him or not support him and I’m choosing to continue to jam Kanye’s oldies without shame. I have faith that one day he’ll really come to his senses and accept the help he deserves. I pray for him and his.

High Thoughts:

It’s often been discussed that spirituality has no place in hip-hop. I’ve seen some older generations of African Americans shake their heads in disgust at Kirk Franklin. It’s interesting to see if Kanye, and his largely white fan-base will support this venture. And other questions to reckon with:

  • Gospel/spirituality is marketable and widely used and is operated like a business, right? Or am I wrong?

Bombtastic Kanye Tracks:

  • Family Business (College Dropout)
  • Monster (Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy)
  • Jesus Walks (College Dropout)
  • Good Morning (Graduation)
  • Flashing Lights (Graduation)
  • See You In My Nightmares (808s & Heartbreak)
  • Gotta Have It (Watch the Throne)

A Letter to My Exes – August 8, 2019

I used to relate all too well to Drake’s line in HYFR: “All my exes live in Texas like I’m George Strait”. Whew, what a word it was. Once I started traveling, however, I started collecting exes from all over the world. Here’s a farewell to all those fellas who significantly impacted me enough to make this list. I don’t believe they’re all bad people, and I’m not bitter about the demise of our relation(situation)ships. I’m writing this letter for closure so listen up:

  • First Love Bae: Even though you proposed to me (sans ring of course) I’m glad I never took you up on your offer. Being my first love taught me so much about love and what toxic relationships look like. People don’t realize how hard it is to let go of someone you love dearly but at everyone has a breaking point (Shoutout to Keri Hilson). I sometimes forget about our threesomes or the fact that we lived together at one point. Those six years flew by. I’ve almost completely forgotten that you were sleeping with my trash bag of a friend during and after our relationship. I almost forget about the time I literally caught you in bed with the girl you claimed was “just a friend”. Tuh! It’s quite funny to me now but a few years ago it felt like the ultimate betrayal but somehow I still loved you. I hope you’re happy and thank you for loving me. I check your Facebook a couple times a year and it looks like you’ve already gotten married. God, please bless the woman who’s committed herself to you for life. Be fruitful and carry on.  
  • C.J.: Wow, falling for you happened so fast. It wasn’t just the Caribbean yacht party in Dubai and it wasn’t just because you looked like Boris Kodjoe’s younger brother. I liked your accent and of course you were such a gentleman right off the bat. If you didn’t know this, I actually drunkenly peed my pants at that all white party and played it off like that didn’t happen. Thank you for introducing me to a beautiful friend who’s been a great influence in my life. I really thought you were “The One” for a while because you possessed many of the qualities I love in a man. You had a job, you were smart, you were fine and tall, and you had that sexy accent. Our time spent together was unparalleled and I haven’t had a relationship or situationship quite like it since. Remember when we would spend the whole evening just listening to music and swapping stories?  Remember when we went to the beach together? Remember when I met you and your friend in Amsterdam that one Spring Break? Remember when I was celibate and gave you a weak ass hand job and you had the nerve to suggest I use lotion? Lol Clearly I wasn’t interested in sex but of course you had to make it all about you. Remember when you texted me inviting to move to Mexico with you? You were so adamant about never settling down so it truly came as shock when you invited me to move to Mexico to be with you. It’s funny how the universe gives me what I want when I don’t want it anymore. I’ve never been the type to uproot my life for the possibility of a “relationship” with a man, especially a man who had never been in a relationship to begin with. I miss you sometimes, though, and I know I wasn’t in the best place last summer when you hit me up. I had words I needed to get off my chest and I had the time to share them with you. Hit me up again though, and fly me out to Mexico for a good time.
  • Straight-Backs: Whew, Chile, Straight-Backs! You are hands-down the best, most consistent lover I’ve ever had in my life. Your mouth, your tongue, your hands, and your stroke game have all been blessed by God Herself. I doubt anyone’s gonna have the gall to tell you this but straight-backs aren’t what’s popping in these 2019 streets but, hey, if that’s the look you like, so be it. Passionate sex and straight-backs aside, I feel like we weren’t equally yoked but you intrigued me. I also felt like you weren’t completely over your ex and you just entertained me because you didn’t like being single. I’m sorry I posted those flyers about you but I’m tired to cheating ass dogs getting away scot-free. Good luck and God bless.
  • Vacation Boo: Wow, I almost forgot to list you because our rendezvous seemed so long ago. I had no intention of meeting you in Jamaica and falling for you so quickly. I had no idea you’d actually visit me overseas either. You really had me for awhile with all of those Marco Polos and sweet nothings. Even the constant communication was something I grew to love and look forward to when I was abroad. You’ll never know how happy you made me and how special I felt when you came to visit me. To be honest, when I visited you for New Year’s Eve I wasn’t too sold on your living condition but I survived. It hurt me when you dropped me for some chicken-head, only to come back a year later like, “What it do babyyyyyyy?!?!” No sir. Your time is up. Be blessed and take care. I don’t think you’re a bad person and I hope you get everything you’ve ever wanted.

November 28 2014 – Nostalgic Thanksgiving

November 28, 2014 

Claire and I are not getting into it right now. Lol it’s pretty hilarious. I didn’t want to spend all this money coming out here and I freaking missed Thanksgiving this year at home. I missed seeing Uncle Keith fresh out of jail. I missed playing Spades with the family and me and Kyle kicking ass. Like I’m a family person when I want to be and I’m realizing that I do want a family of my own some day. Christmas is going to be so nice. I JUST SKYPED PETERS! She’s absolutely lovely and I’m missing Houston like crazy. I feel a lot better now.  

Just finished ordering room service and devouring the baked beans, hash browns, fruit, Canadian bacon, chicken sausage, and some other things. It was a bit of a cramped meal but hey, it got the job done. Poor Claire still hasn’t found her credit card. [Symbol] I’m so sad for her because I know how important it was to her. Got the chance to chat with my mom this morning after they’re Thanksgiving and she said everyone was asking about me and stuff. This Thanksgiving had me like … sadness. 

Black Feminism & Megan Thee Stallion

in·ter·sec·tion·al·i·ty

/ˌin(t)ərsekSHəˈnalədē/

noun

: the complex, cumulative way in which the effects of multiple forms of discrimination (such as racism, sexism, and classism) combine, overlap, or intersect especially in the experiences of marginalized individuals or groups

(Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/intersectionality )

We hear the term intersectionality quite often in this digital age of social media and society’s attempt to promote diversity and inclusion across the board. Whether it’s effective or not is a discussion for another day.

This week’s focus is on Houston’s latest rap sensation: (notice I didn’t mention ‘female’ but we’ll get to that soon enough) Megan Thee Stallion. Maybe you’ve seen or heard her freestyles or maybe you’ve heard a colleague casually describe how the rising weather temperatures have caused her to have a “Hot Girl Summer” (sidenote: gentrification is incredibly real, people).

If you were unaware, or in case you’ve been living abroad for some time with little to no internet connectivity, Houston’s very own uses the phrase, “Real Hot Girl Sh*t” quite often as an introductory catch phrase throughout her projects, similar to the way in which Rick Ross uses “M-M-M-M Maybach music”. Megan’s fans are referred to as her hotties and Megan’s latest successful marketing strategy to dominate social media is the rise of her catch-phrase “Hot Girl Summer”. The internet and your favorite auntie loves it.

Of course with success spawns the haters.

You’re a Hot Girl Summer Hater (perhaps unknowingly) if you feel inclined to post the following to social media:

  • “Hot girls down by 200 points in the third quarter!”
  • “ShE cAnT eVeN rAp”
  • “ShE nOt EvEn CuTe”
  •  “ShE dIDn’T eVeN wRiTe ThAt”
  • “Hot boys takin’ over!”

Sir, kindly find your seat and sit all the way DOWN.

If you’re Realer than real, first and foremost, please note that Meg has made it quite clear that she cares little about what haters have to say and that’s evident in the chorus to her hit track “Realer”:

I keep it realer than real
Fuck all the critics and fuck how they feel
I’m getting money, it is what it is
They wanna know how I did what I did
Don’t worry ’bout why I do what I do (bitch)
‘Cause I ain’t worried bout you (bitch)
Nah, I don’t wanna be cool (bitch)
Still hanging with the same crew (ay)

Source: https://genius.com/Megan-thee-stallion-realer-lyrics

Listen & Watch: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BlWUh_iOKk)

Translation: Meg don’t care what y’all have to say because y’all COULD NEVER! She’s collecting her coin and securing all the bags. This conceited attitude is often the persona rappers take on and Megan Thee Stallion is no different.

In Your Feelings?

It’s become apparent that certain men are experiencing feelings of intimidation and confusion by the rise of women in rap. It’s as if women like Hot Girl Meg confidently rapping about using men purely as ATMs and for sexual pleasure threatens the elusive ‘fragile male ego’.

For an example of a man in his feelings, look no further than at what Jermaine Dupri, one of Hip-Hop’s greatest contributors in the 1990s/early 2000s and Janet Jackson’s ex, had to say in a recent interview with PeopleTV about the current state of rap music:

“They all rapping about the same thing,” he noted. “I don’t think they’re showing us who is the best rapper. For me, it’s like strippers rapping. As far as rap goes, I’m not getting ‘who is the best rapper.’”

Sources:

>https://hiphopdx.com/news/id.52206/title.jermaine-dupri-breaks-down-his-polarizing-female-rapper-comment-on-crooks-corner#

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFn1qFUrn60

Some would agree that the clapbacks and uproar on social media was well warranted. Many men like Jermaine Dupri who are So, So deaf are questioning the legitimacy and capabilities of the current women in rap. They’re shooketh because these are self-assured, strong, attractive, intelligent women who’ve risen to fame because their bars are tight and they’ve garnered a sizeable following because of this. These women in rap promote women empowerment, pleasurable sexual experiences for women, hard work, determination, and independence. All of these are difficult concepts for some men to grasp.

‘What? Women can enjoy sex?’ headass

‘She’s just using me for me money?’ headass

 ‘She’s just using me for sex?’ headass

Yes. Yes she is, sir.

Those uncomfortable feelings that certain men feel when they hear songs by Megan Thee Stallion, City Girls, or Cardi B are feelings of disrespect and confusion but let’s be honest: A large component of what makes Hip-Hop unlike any other genre is the blatant misogyny and objectification of women’s bodies. The tables have turned lately, though, as we see the rise of Black women in Hip-Hop now becoming more mainstream.

These uncomfortable men are never up in arms when male rappers objectify women’s bodies, promote colorism, describe lewd sexual activities, or tell stories of slanging crack on street corners. This has been going on for literal decades!

It blows the minds of some Hip-Hop heads like Joe Budden when they see spicy women spit nice bars, and that was evident when Meg sat down with Joe to discuss her journey to fame. Don’t waste your time watching the interview as it can be summed up as Joe simply wondering, “But how can you confidently write disrespectful raps about men, possess a cool ass personality, and be fine all at the same damn time?” (A paraphrase)

*eye roll*

Watch the interview here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FZt-Ux9j1g

Growing Up Hip-Hop

Growing up in the South in the nineties, I was exposed to various types of music through my family and friends, mainstream radio hits on 97.9 the Box, and the occasional music videos on BET. Bear in mind that the Internet wasn’t a thing yet so my music options were quite limited; it’s no surprise that I fell in love with Hip-Hop and R&B at a young age.

In elementary school Southern rap was a big deal and Lil’ Wayne and the Hot Boyz (Lil Wayne, B.G., Juvenile, Turk ) were budding stars at the time. My friends and I would memorize rap lyrics and recite them in the girl’s restroom during breaks. To this day I can still recite this portion of ‘I Need a Hot Girl’ :

[Verse 4: Turk & Lil’ Wayne]
[Turk]
I like ’em hot, the ones that don’t tell me to stop
Eat dick swallow the cum, and they know how to pop
I need a project bitch, a hoodrat bitch
One that don’t give a fuck and say she took that dick

[Lil’ Wayne]
She a doggy with it, she gonna wobbledee
Then she know I’m d want it with it
Open her legs and squeeze a nigga
Like she want me in it
Now turn around and back it up
Then throw it at a nigga
Until I say, “Ohh that’s enough”

[Turk]
Give me a gangsta ho, one that don’t give a fuck
And that’ll shank a ho
The one that’ll slang still, and keep it on the low
One that’ll do time for me, and say fuck the po’
To all you know

[Lil’ Wayne]
A lil’ shorty in the twat have it hurting and thumping
They be like, “They say he small girl but he workin with something”
I’m the Wayne on fire I’ll smash on your boo before a hot girl bang
What’s happening with you?

I can’t help but wonder if Jermaine Dupri would qualify I Need a Hot Girl by the Hot Boyz as some of rap’s best ever. And since we’re here, let’s briefly discuss how damaging it can be for young children, boys and girls alike, to consume misogynistic music at formable ages. To be fair, I didn’t understand how damaging a large majority of rap music created by men can negatively affect a child’s outlook on relationships and societal standings. It wasn’t until recent years that I realized how many of the songs I have programmed into my brain, lyric-for-lyric, were actually negative programming I’ve only begun to dismantle as an adult.

I also wonder if Jermaine Dupri is up-in-arms and concerned with the rise and commercialization of mumble rap in recent years. Where was this same negative energy, Jermaine, for male rappers like Migos, Blueface, (and he STILL can’t seem to find the beat) 6ix9ine, or Lil’ Pump? 

Women in Rap & Black Feminism:

We are still in midst of the Time’s Up and MeToo movements and women, more than ever, are taking up space and using their platforms to voice their opinions. Whether that’s on a mic or on Twitter, the ongoing discussion of women’s’ rights, particularly Black women, tie into modern-day Feminism.

Black Feminism is different from general Feminism in that Black Feminism more appropriately seeks to uplift the Black woman, the demographic once described by Malcolm X as “the most disrespected woman in America”.

The most disrespected woman in America, is the black woman. The most un-protected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America, is the black woman.

Malcolm X, Who Taught You to Hate Yourself (1962)

Source: https://genius.com/Malcolm-x-who-taught-you-to-hate-yourself-annotated

Take Notes and Pay Attention

Meg and other women in rap may not recognize it but they’re making history, shattering records, making it so that in a few years time we probably won’t use antiquated terms like “female rapper” because any gendered person (or non-binary person) can rap. The kids won’t care either way.

Hip-Hop has never seen this many women in rap dominating the airwaves have such success at the same time, and that’s never to discredit Lil’ Kim, Foxy Brown, Salt N Pepa, Rah Digga, MC Lyte, or Queen Latifah, most of which used vulgar rap lyrics to capture audiences and listeners before Nikki Minaj. Whether we acknowledge this moment or not, the fact that so many people are talking about women in rap makes this a pivotal point in time for Black Feminism. Sharing information and spreading content across the world has never been easier, and we are living in the age of social media, where one iPhone-recorded freestyle uploaded to Twitter can thrust a person into the limelight or catch the eye of talent executive in an instant.

The lyrical content of women in rap is similar to the content that all your faves like the Jay Z, J. Cole, Kendrick Lamar, or Biggie rap about: money, sex, and empowerment. It’s also interesting to note women in rap often neglect lyrics about selling drugs.

Take Aways

  • Hakuna matata, fellas. Just because your girlfriend or wife knows all the words to Big Ole Freak doesn’t mean your woman is preparing to cheat on you. It also doesn’t mean she’s making fun of your ability to only please her for 5 minutes (or less) as Megan often describes. If you’re curious about the sexual satisfaction of your partner, just casually ask you partner.
  • It’s okay if you’re a man and you know all the words to City Girl’s Act Up. That’s my shit, too, friend!
  • Like a lot of male rappers, many women in rap today participate in heterosexual relationships but they’re still talking shit just like your favorite rappers talk about being in the strip club and possessing hoes in different area codes. In reality your favorite rapper is tired all the time, he’s got four kids he takes to school every day and a whole wife at home. The art of rap revolves around arrogance and storytelling. Women in rap are no different.
  • Let women have their Hot Girl Summers in peace.

November 12 2014 – shakeitoff cc taylor swift

November 12, 2014 

Am I fake? I don’t think I am besides the weave in my head. Sometimes I know how to keep not-so nice things to myself and I always try to be positive but I wouldn’t consider myself fake. Entisar isn’t technically in the circle of trust…yet. She’s definitely cool and everything but Claire, Kasey, and I have been to Sri Lanka together and we’ve gotten drunk together more times than I can count. Truths come out when you’re sitting rooftop and guzzling down your third bottle of Prosecco. Kasey and Claire know my feelings about Chris and it’s not like I’m hiding anything from Entisar, it’s just she really hasn’t asked about my dating life and we haven’t been in an intimate setting enough for me to explain everything in detail to her. There’s not much to tell besides the fact that I met him at a Caribbean yacht party, slept with him a few times, and he’s also a teacher at ENS. Not very interesting, right? A part of me does feel like she may judge me if she knows that side of me. It’s not like I’m a whore or anything but seeing as how it didn’t amount to anything, what’s the point of explaining the whole situation to her? He just liked fucking me and hanging out with me when I’m in Abu Dhabi. Although, he did say I could never stay in his apartment when we met at the Sheraton…but then on Halloween all he wanted to do was get me back to his place. I guess just for sex : ( . Story of my life. I must give it up too easily to guys that don’t want much from me. I have to learn how to keep it in my pants even if I’m super horny and he’s attractive to me. Ugh, he gets so clingy when we’re in person but then once we’re apart it’s as if I don’t exist.

That’s supposed to be how I treat dudes, not the reverse. I don’t like playing hard to get. Who am I kidding? I do like playing hard to get 🙂  but I don’t enjoy chasing after a dude. I feel thirsty…which I am but I don’t want to show it. I’m letting it go so I’m talking about something else.  

Anywho, back to my personal issues. Let’s face it: Quincy has trust issues in her romantic life and in her friendships. I was deeply betrayed by two people that I cared for and that fucked me up. Ergo, my guard is up super high and I’ve somewhat alienated people and assumed everyone has an ugly side to them that they’re masking with a nice smile and a compliment. I don’t talk about people behind their backs and I don’t go around spreading rumors about my friends or associates. I’ll admit I sometimes stretch stories a bit for dramatic effects but it’s never far from the truth.  

There’s also the fact that I know how jealous girls can be if they see you happy. (i.e. Drea and Jess) I don’t like jealousy and therefore I usually just keep a lot of things to myself because I don’t like confrontation and being mean to people. Trust me, I know how to be nasty to a person and I’ll chop a nigga up real quick if push comes to shove or if I’ve had one too many drinks. It’s easy for me to be like that to dudes but it’s more difficult for me to do it with friends or associates. If I have to deal with you on the regular basis, I don’t want there to be bad blood or tension. I’m a very chill person and I feel like God made me this way for a reason. I don’t let the little things keep me down or get in the way. I AM FLAWED. PEOPLE ARE FLAWED. I just sometimes have trouble distinguishing which flaws I should deal with and when to walk away. I NEVER WANT TO BE THE MEAN ONE…but I’m learning that it’s just a part of life. Sometimes you have to tell it like it is and if a person doesn’t like it, well oh well. The truth was out there. From this day forth, I vow to myself to be more honest with others and more open. This is a brand new life I’ve chosen for myself in the UAE and I plan to make this a learning experience. I must learn how to be Quincy 100%. So what if I’m pretty good at using computer? Or I know a little bit of Spanish. Who cares if I can sing a lil’ bit and I’m quick witted. Yes, I’m very sexual and I suck at deciding if a guy is really into me or if he just wants Bermuda (my vagina). Yes, I have horrible smelling farts and my morning breath is God awful. Yes, I’m a KG (kindergarten) teacher and I’m pretty good at it. No, I don’t want to be one forever and I want to one day be a college professor or instructor. Yes, I enjoy alcohol and sometimes I drink a bit too much and puke in pubic. My apologies but that’s just me.  

November 1 2014 – Post Halloween

November 1, 2014 

I’m slightly pycho. I think there’s something wrong with me just because I’m just scarred from dumbass. Most girls are slightly have a lil crazy in them just because we’re just hormonal creatures. I drunk texted Chris last night and pretty much told him I can’t be his fuck buddy friend anymore. In all fairness, I’m glad I said it because it was on my mind. Not to mention he left me at Shangri La with his coworkers…so he could go meet other people…TF?! That wasn’t cool and I’m not excusing that. He’s a gentleman and all but I’m sure he’s just a guy and I’m just a girl. I did say that I had plans to go out that night, which I did but I secretly wanted to hang out with his lame ass. Ugh. I don’t like boys. Quincy has to decide for herself what she wants to do. At this point in my life, I honestly don’t know what I want. I’m not ready for a relationship…CLEARLY after the drunk texting session I had last night. I hate looking stupid. And I totally looked stupid. Let’s evaluate this situation. If;ohb;sefgha;dflkbhsf;lbkheg;blihefboiehb;lgrkbn;ealfbjs 

Sorry, I lost it on the keyboard. Look, I’m Quincy and I’m a sometimes thirsty. Fuck. My. Life. I guess I’ll let it go. It’s awkward now. I’m going to let it go. Right? I’m not interested in boys. I can’t believe I sent that text. What was I thinking?! Least I know he doesn’t want anything serious. I PROBABLY RUINED EVERYTHING BUT WHAT THE FUCK EVER! 

Great Halloween, though. I didn’t get to wear my costume but I did get to turn up and see a burlesque show. Great weekend. [Symbol] Love Kasey, Claire, Anya, Chris, Chris’ coworkers. No more drunk texting.  

October 25 2014 – Fuck the world

October 25, 2014 

Let the record show that my last entry was a lame with a capital L. As of today I am going to stop worrying about what’s-his-face and start worrying more about me. Why waste energy worrying about someone who isn’t worried about me. He was here in Al Ain and didn’t even shoot me a text. Granted, he was working and on a field trip all day and apparently cranky, but EVEN STILL. It would have been nice to have gotten a notification. Whatever. He’s not a jerk and he’s not a loser. He’s just some guy I slutted around with when I got here. Ugh. I have to practice self control when I get around hot guys who are smart and funny and make great cuddle buddies. I’ve got to stop setting these high expectations and assuming all the time so that I’m not continuously disappointed time and time again. I’m not the clingy type at all because I’m used to being independent and on my own but I can’t lie and say I don’t like companionship and stuff like that because I do. I really do.  

So here’s to setting low expectations. And not caring about boys anymore. I’ll tell him I’m coming to Abu Dhabi but I’m not inviting him anywhere. He doesn’t have to show up or come through, as Drake would say. At least I can say he didn’t fuck me over. Sure, he’s a decent lay and his chest hairs are amazing. Maybe his beard is super attractive and comforting just like his mild Caribbean/New York accent. Ugh. And lastly it could be cool that he’s  teacher at my school but at a different campus as well.   

I’m done. I’m spending my whole Saturday doing laundry, eating Fruity Pebbles, and playing the Sims. Fuck the world!